I have a confession to make. Are you ready? I HATE SOCIAL MEDIA. There, I said it. And I mean it.
I mean, Facebook was ok at first–like a decade ago. It was fun to cyber stalk people from high school, to see who got fat or who married someone ugly. It was also a good way to casually connect with someone who you’d only met once but that you might be interested in dating. That’s how I started dating my fiance! But lately, its lost it’s luster for me. Its all super emo status updates, fake news and annoying and surprisingly voyeuristic ads–“How does Facebook know I just looked at a Free People dress from Macy’s???” Instagram seemed cool at first too. Oh wow a photo feed thats just for me and my friends? Cool! Oh wait, who are all these rando people who have hundreds of thousands of followers endlessly posting selfies of themselves driving in the car followed by inspirational quotes? What’s so special about them? Nothing. They’re called what? Influencers? Hmmm. But they bought all of their followers? That seems weird. Shit–I get so much anxiety if I post something and it doesn’t get that many likes. Does that mean that people don’t like me? Fuck. Am I not cool? How come that girl got 562 likes? That’s a shitty photo and she’s not even cute. I only got 15 likes. I feel like a loser. Damn, that couple has a perfect life. How come I don’t have that? How are they always on vacation? Are her abs really that perfect? I need to do some crunches. Are his abs really that perfect? He seems gay to me. I wonder if she knows he’s gay.
IS THIS LIFE NOW???
In the words of Magatu, ” I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” Hasn’t anyone noticed the complete deterioration of society since social media has taken our attention, minds and eyeballs hostage? People don’t even seem to live their lives in person anymore. No one can have any moments without a snapchat attached to it. Often disrupting and ruining the very moment that they are trying to capture and brag about. It all seems a mindless maze of digitally enhanced photos, ginormous egos and just plain garbage. Ah yes, social media. Where shameless self promotion is rewarded and posts containing real content go ignored. What will people do when the zombie apocalypse comes and social media is destroyed? Will they know how to live in the real world anymore?
Well, I will. Starting today I am swearing off all social media for 6 months. I want to see what happens to my life without social media. Ironically, I have a feeling that my life could open up in ways that I cannot yet imagine. Or maybe I’ll lose all my friends and the world will completely move on without me leaving me in its dust. In between other writings, I will periodically provide updates here on how that’s going. Who would like to join me on this zero social media adventure??